Randy's resolutions

I don't normally share my New Year's resolutions but I feel very strongly about the ones I've made for 2008. Heck, I may even keep some of them ...

I resolve to watch more SEC football.

I resolve to spend more time with my family and less time with my computer.

I resolve to be optimistic, even as my life spirals hopelessly out of control.

I resolve to watch my Green Bay Packers win the Super Bowl.

I resolve to donate more money to worthy causes.

I resolve to HAVE more money to donate to worthy causes.

I resolve to spend more time on the golf course (not looking for lost balls, though).

I resolve to be a better man than I was in 2007.

I resolve to be more sincere ... even if I have to fake it.

I resolve to see Bruce Pearl take the Basketball Vols to the Final Four.

I resolve to spend more time contacting friends by mail, email and telephone.

I resolve to establish a new personal best for hanging up on telemarketers. Current record: 2.5 seconds.

I resolve to watch more SEC football.

I resolve to lower my weight, my cholesterol and my blood pressure, preferably without increasing my medications.

I resolve to look on the bright side ... even when I have to squint.

I resolve to watch even less Major League Baseball than I watched last year (roughly 45 minutes).

I resolve to stop sweating the small stuff.

I resolve to show greater resolve.

I resolve to make more birdies and fewer double-bogeys.

I resolve to get rid of more useless junk than I buy.

I resolve to greet each day with a smile ... even if I have to pee really bad.

I resolve to watch Pat Summitt cut down the nets after another national title.

I resolve to spend more quality time in front of my fireplace.

I resolve to take no performance-enhancing drugs, even if they would make me a stronger writer.

I resolve to watch more SEC football.

I resolve to spend more time on my treadmill and less time on my easy chair.

I resolve to stop and smell the roses (no easy task, since my rose bush died).

I resolve to make a putt longer than six feet.

I resolve to live long enough to frustrate my enemies.

I resolve to live long enough to qualify for Social Security ... just to get back some of the money I paid in.

I resolve to live long enough to see Tennessee win another SEC football title.